2* February 2010 - HELLO CLEVELAND!

[bd]

I had questions on Tuesday, but almost as soon as I woke up I was out and away from the sacred TXT on a 14 hour kidshift and couldn't copy/paste them for you, my beloved followers. And on Wednesday I just didn't feel like it. So here's more than three wherein we get to play pretend!

For today's questions you must pretend you are in a band. What's more, it's fully your band in a way Eels is fully E's band and...uh...OK Eels is the only one I can think of at the moment, but I really like Eels. I won their new record, which hasn't arrived yet, but the digital version I played constantly for like a week and I'm waaaay off topic. Anyway, it's full on your band like Eels is E's band and OH The Plastic Ono was all John Lennon and KISS means Gene & Paul + two guys, so you can decide everything in a dictatorial way from members to music played to name to having awesome costumes and backstories and elaborate stage shows like GWAR. Got it? No wimping out. We're going through a whole arc of a band here so strap in. Answers are wanted, and expected.



1. First things first; having made the right decisions all your life and picked up your (main? do you have more than one?) instrument at an early age you have become it's master. You're George Harrison, Eric Clapton, Eddie Van Halen, Les Claypool, Dan Lilker, Geddy Lee, Charlie Benante, Keith Moon, Ginger Baker (see what I did there? Three each, guitar, bass, drums) or even Stevie Wonder; whatever, what instrument is it? If you're a multi-instrumentalist like Prince, what else are you associated with?

2. That decided, What kind of music do you play, and what do you call yourselves? I'm combining these because they influence each other. A band called Dashboard confessional can not play thrash metal and Cannibal Corpse would never sell record one as an R&B group. Though I'd looove to see it.

3. Alright, got your name, got your style, and let's say you've got a contract with an indie label to put out your first record. What are you going to name it? Do you have any GWAR / Slipknot / KISS / Residents, etc type gimmicks?

4. To no one's surprise, especially the people who loved you in your area first, the major labels have come sniffing around. Your phone's are ringing off the hook with offers to back the Brinks truck up to the house they're buying you (and your mom. And your dog if they must). But it's 2010, idn't it? More bands are trying to prove that you don't really need a major label. Decision time: do you sign? What stipulations do you put in the contract?

5. Regardless of the answers above; you blow up. You're going on a world tour. Time to be full on RAWK STAR and make up a rider. Whatcha gonna demand? Here's the stips: you must include a type of food for you and a type for the crew, entertainment, and transportation (beyond tour bus). Any brown M&Ms type shenanigans are purely up to you.

6. Oh, hey, you should record a live album even though they're ridiculous. Where ya gonna record it? Gonna make a DVD too?

7. And speaking of DVDs, are you going to make any music videos? (Let's just assume, if you didn't sign with a major, you can afford it one way or another) Or long form videos? If so on the latter, what kind of stuff are you going to put on it?

8. First record sold huge, first tour went extremely well, do you take a little time off before recording the second album? If so, what do you do? If not, why not?

9. Second album comes out and does as good as, if not better, than the first. Tour went amazing. Now it's time to play the supergroup game. You must put together and take part in a one off supergroup including the following positions: Guitar (two, lead & rhythm), bass, drum, vocals. Any other instruments are also allowed for you people who want Bernie Worell in with you.

10. You're at, what could be, the height of your fame. What's gonna be your rock star eccentricity? Your John-Lennon-white-suit-and-beard or your Michael-Jackson-one-glove

11. Time to use your crazy fame to fulfill some dreams you wouldn't otherwise be able to. Pick, let's say three, things that you're going to use your fame to do that normal people wouldn't be able to.

12. While you're on supergroup hiatus you use some studio time (home studio?) to play around with some different kinds of tunes. What kind of music is this, and do you intend to release it?

13. Back to your band. One of your guys thinks you're devoting too much time to outside projects. You can cut him loose and replace him, or promise no more side stuff. What's your decision?

14. Regardless of the above, you continue on and continue to be popular. For the next however long; what would be a good schedule for you? How often do you want to release records? Tour?

15. What kind of guest stars do you hope to attract to work on your albums?

16. What would it take to get you to guest on other people's?

17. What do you want to become? Do you want to break up after 10 years like the Beatles? March forever and ever like KISS? How about a forced early end a la Nirvana? What fits your vision of a perfect band end?

18. Assuming you didn't die to end the band, and the band did break up, what would it take for a reunion down the line?

19. Alternate-ish universe to the above. It's been a few years since the band broke up. Some of the original members want to get back together, but you're not down with it. Instead they start performing together in small clubs with a similar name Dead Kennedys style. What do you do?

20. Should I have stopped like 8 questions ago?

*the week of
_________________
loneliness + alienation + fear + despair + self-worth ÷ mockery ÷ condemnation ÷ misunderstanding x guilt x shame x failure x judgment n=y where y=hope and n=folly, love=lies, life=death, self=dark side

[bd]

(I feel I should note, I did not have answers in mind when I scribbled out the questions. The answers below are off the top of the head as I reread them.)

1. First things first; having made the right decisions all your life and picked up your (main? do you have more than one?) instrument at an early age you have become it's master. You're George Harrison, Eric Clapton, Eddie Van Halen, Les Claypool, Dan Lilker, Geddy Lee, Charlie Benante, Keith Moon, Ginger Baker (see what I did there? Three each, guitar, bass, drums) or even Stevie Wonder; whatever, what instrument is it? If you're a multi-instrumentalist like Prince, what else are you associated with?[b]

--Bass. Totally bass player.

[b]2. That decided, What kind of music do you play? Do you have any GWAR / Slipknot / KISS / Residents, etc type gimmicks? And what do you call yourselves? I'm combining these because they influence each other. A band called Dashboard confessional can not play thrash metal and Cannibal Corpse would never sell record one as an R&B group. Though I'd looove to see it.

--Something between rock & metal. Sorta like what Metallica turned in to around Load. We'd start with the name Hexagon and shorten it to Hex. As for gimmicks, we'd start with me always dressed all in black and everyone else in white or vice versa before we shed the silly.

3. Alright, got your name, got your style, and let's say you've got a contract with an indie label to put out your first record. What are you going to name it?

--When I was in high school or Jr high I thought it would be awesome to be in a band and name all our albums the same name as other bends famous albums. The debut would be either Make it Big or Destroyer

4. To no one's surprise, especially the people who loved you in your area first, the major labels have come sniffing around. Your phone's are ringing off the hook with offers to back the Brinks truck up to the house they're buying you (and your mom. And your dog if they must). But it's 2010, idn't it? More bands are trying to prove that you don't really need a major label. Decision time: do you sign? What stipulations do you put in the contract?

--Yeah, sign so we can spend other people's money, but only if we can have a "we're bigshots" contract that allows us to veto stuff and act diva-ish so that we fight with the label down the line.

5. Regardless of the answers above; you blow up. You're going on a world tour. Time to be full on RAWK STAR and make up a rider. Whatcha gonna demand? Here's the stips: you must include a type of food for you and a type for the crew, entertainment, and transportation (beyond tour bus). Any brown M&Ms type shenanigans are purely up to you.

--Food: Breakfast for the band. Always. Pancakes, waffles, french toast. The crew gets deli platters, bread, & condiments. Sammiches.

--Entertainment: We'd lug around our video games, but we'd need like a pool table. Dart board. Stuff that can't be lugged city to city.

--Transport: Hybrid!

--Shenanigans: Randomly ask for silly things like inflatable clown balloons and pinatas filled with king sized candy bars.

6. Oh, hey, you should record a live album even though they're ridiculous. Where ya gonna record it? Gonna make a DVD too?

--Chicago. For sure. Chicago crowds are in. tense. I'd want to do a jerk thing and release the video as a "bonus", but only with some songs. Then more later for free online.

7. And speaking of DVDs, are you going to make any music videos? (Let's just assume, if you didn't sign with a major, you can afford it one way or another) Or long form videos? If so on the latter, what kind of stuff are you going to put on it?

--Music videos? Eugh. Only if a director comes up with an awesome concept. A long form video is a better idea. Put it out for cheap in pieces on iTunes and it'll be like a music video, but not.

8. First record sold huge, first tour went extremely well, do you take a little time off before recording the second album? If so, what do you do? If not, why not?

--Time off, yes. Spend the whole time just a-chillin' and writing. No spiritual retreats, no acting, no goofyness.

9. Second album comes out and does as good as, if not better, than the first. Tour went amazing. Now it's time to play the supergroup game. You must put together and take part in a one off supergroup including the following positions: Guitar (two, lead & rhythm), bass, drum, vocals. Any other instruments are also allowed for you people who want Bernie Worrell in with you.

--I'm on the bass, bring in Buckethead for lead & Slash for rhythm, ?uestlove on drums, and if his voice is still working, Joey Belladonna on vocals. If not, Glen Danzig--which is totally the other way.

10. You're at, what could be, the height of your fame. What's gonna be your rock star eccentricity? Your John-Lennon-white-suit-and-beard or your Michael-Jackson-one-glove or Jay-Leno-cars

--Comics. I would be a huge jerk taking trades & a light wedge to awards shows.

11. Time to use your crazy fame to fulfill some dreams you wouldn't otherwise be able to. Pick, let's say three, things that you're going to use your fame to do that normal people wouldn't be able to.

--I'd wiggle my way into a spot on a WrestleMania broadcast, no matter how much I don't belong there; try my hand at comic writing a la Gerard Way; and producing movies that I cameo in Hitchcock style.

12. While you're on supergroup hiatus you use some studio time (home studio?) to play around with some different kinds of tunes. What kind of music is this, and do you intend to release it?

--Hip hop funk stuff, only pressed & given to friends as gifts.

13. Back to your band. One of your guys thinks you're devoting too much time to outside projects. You can cut him loose and replace him, or promise no more side stuff. What's your decision?

--Cut. Him. Loose.

14. Regardless of the above, you continue on and continue to be popular. For the next however long; what would be a good schedule for you? How often do you want to release records? Tour?

--The Beatles did about an album a year and toured behind it (until they stopped touring). No one does that anymore. I'd love to do that, but not a huge summer festival type tour. One band; two openers, mid size venues.

15. What kind of guest stars do you hope to attract to work on your albums?

--Cut the biggest swath we can. From hip hop stars to old metalheads. And I want to work with Les Claypool and Scott Ian.

16. What would it take to get you to guest on other people's?

--I'd have to actually dig the project. Also, fat stacks of cash.

17. What do you want to become? Do you want to break up after 10 years like the Beatles? March forever and ever like KISS? How about a forced early end a la Nirvana? What fits your vision of a perfect band end?

--The Beatles did it right, exploding huge and walking away from everything. It let them do their solo stuff and, up until Lennon died, left the door open for a reunion.

18. Assuming you do break up, what would it take for a reunion down the line?

--fan demand. Real fan demand, like, petitions and pleading fan demand. It has to stay special.

19. Alternate-ish universe to the above. It's been a few years since the band broke up. Some of the original members want to get back together, but you're not down with it. Instead they start performing together in small clubs with a similar name Dead Kennedys style. What do you do?

--Sell them the name, but afterwords mock them mercilessly for not being able to move on.

20. Should I have stopped like 8 questions ago?

--Only 8?
_________________
loneliness + alienation + fear + despair + self-worth ÷ mockery ÷ condemnation ÷ misunderstanding x guilt x shame x failure x judgment n=y where y=hope and n=folly, love=lies, life=death, self=dark side

[Mark]

Dude. This is way hard.
_________________
You're never too old for Space Camp.

[Angela]

Oh man, yeah. Can we have the rest of February to do these? Month is practically half over anyway...

[monk]

Since I was in a band, these will be easy to do. it will take some time though so I'll get to it tomorrow.

[Mark]

1. First things first; having made the right decisions all your life and picked up your (main? do you have more than one?) instrument at an early age you have become it's master. You're George Harrison, Eric Clapton, Eddie Van Halen, Les Claypool, Dan Lilker, Geddy Lee, Charlie Benante, Keith Moon, Ginger Baker (see what I did there? Three each, guitar, bass, drums) or even Stevie Wonder; whatever, what instrument is it? If you're a multi-instrumentalist like Prince, what else are you associated with?

Piano.

2. That decided, What kind of music do you play, and what do you call yourselves? I'm combining these because they influence each other. A band called Dashboard confessional can not play thrash metal and Cannibal Corpse would never sell record one as an R&B group. Though I'd looove to see it.

Less-than-serious slice-of-life songs of various styles, a less-odd TMBG. We'd call ourselves "00000" so as to be the first group in any alphabetical listings.


3. Alright, got your name, got your style, and let's say you've got a contract with an indie label to put out your first record. What are you going to name it? Do you have any GWAR / Slipknot / KISS / Residents, etc type gimmicks?

First album is "Apropos of Nothing," no gimmicks.


4. To no one's surprise, especially the people who loved you in your area first, the major labels have come sniffing around. Your phones are ringing off the hook with offers to back the Brinks truck up to the house they're buying you (and your mom. And your dog if they must). But it's 2010, idn't it? More bands are trying to prove that you don't really need a major label. Decision time: do you sign? What stipulations do you put in the contract?

Label, schmabel. Jerks, all.


5. Regardless of the answers above; you blow up. You're going on a world tour. Time to be full on RAWK STAR and make up a rider. Whatcha gonna demand? Here's the stips: you must include a type of food for you and a type for the crew, entertainment, and transportation (beyond tour bus). Any brown M&Ms type shenanigans are purely up to you.

We are simple folk in this big ol' band, so we just want pizza. The best local stuff, but none of that Giordano's crap. Seems like we ought to have an Xbox 360 or two backstage, and limos are just fine for us.


6. Oh, hey, you should record a live album even though they're ridiculous. Where ya gonna record it? Gonna make a DVD too?

Indianapolis Zoo, and we must have a DVD so people can see the red panda, because he's adorable.


7. And speaking of DVDs, are you going to make any music videos? (Let's just assume, if you didn't sign with a major, you can afford it one way or another) Or long form videos? If so on the latter, what kind of stuff are you going to put on it?

I always like it when the videos actually have something to do with the song. If not that, then dinosaurs.


8. First record sold huge, first tour went extremely well, do you take a little time off before recording the second album? If so, what do you do? If not, why not?

Take a break and make a goofy movie. Don't want to oversaturate the music market with us.


9. Second album comes out and does as good as, if not better, than the first. Tour went amazing. Now it's time to play the supergroup game. You must put together and take part in a one off supergroup including the following positions: Guitar (two, lead & rhythm), bass, drum, vocals. Any other instruments are also allowed for you people who want Bernie Worell in with you.

I don't know enough about current musicians to answer this one.


10. You're at, what could be, the height of your fame. What's gonna be your rock star eccentricity? Your John-Lennon-white-suit-and-beard or your Michael-Jackson-one-glove

Unibrow.


11. Time to use your crazy fame to fulfill some dreams you wouldn't otherwise be able to. Pick, let's say three, things that you're going to use your fame to do that normal people wouldn't be able to.

1) Anonymously donate to a bunch of things
2) Meet Weird Al
3) Go backstage at shows


12. While you're on supergroup hiatus you use some studio time (home studio?) to play around with some different kinds of tunes. What kind of music is this, and do you intend to release it?

Covers. Probably not.


13. Back to your band. One of your guys thinks you're devoting too much time to outside projects. You can cut him loose and replace him, or promise no more side stuff. What's your decision?

No more side stuff.


14. Regardless of the above, you continue on and continue to be popular. For the next however long; what would be a good schedule for you? How often do you want to release records? Tour?

Album: every year and a half or so
Tour: with the new album releases, maybe


15. What kind of guest stars do you hope to attract to work on your albums?

Steve Martin for his banjo work.


16. What would it take to get you to guest on other people's?

Not much. I'd have to like them, though. Sorry, Pete Wentz.


17. What do you want to become? Do you want to break up after 10 years like the Beatles? March forever and ever like KISS? How about a forced early end a la Nirvana? What fits your vision of a perfect band end?

A group that continues on would be my preference.


18. Assuming you didn't die to end the band, and the band did break up, what would it take for a reunion down the line?

Depends on what broke us up, I guess.


19. Alternate-ish universe to the above. It's been a few years since the band broke up. Some of the original members want to get back together, but you're not down with it. Instead they start performing together in small clubs with a similar name Dead Kennedys style. What do you do?

Go to the shows and heckle them.


20. Should I have stopped like 8 questions ago?

Wasn't my favorite set of questions, but hey.
_________________
You're never too old for Space Camp.

[KiltyAsCharged]

1. First things first; having made the right decisions all your life and picked up your (main? do you have more than one?) instrument at an early age you have become it's master. You're George Harrison, Eric Clapton, Eddie Van Halen, Les Claypool, Dan Lilker, Geddy Lee, Charlie Benante, Keith Moon, Ginger Baker (see what I did there? Three each, guitar, bass, drums) or even Stevie Wonder; whatever, what instrument is it? If you're a multi-instrumentalist like Prince, what else are you associated with?

Bagpipes and the upright bass.

2. That decided, What kind of music do you play, and what do you call yourselves? I'm combining these because they influence each other. A band called Dashboard confessional can not play thrash metal and Cannibal Corpse would never sell record one as an R&B group. Though I'd looove to see it.

Celtic Jazz w/spooky undertones would be the music. Think of Long Black Veil or Fields of Athenroy and put in like.... more ghosts... We would be called "The Lost Path"

3. Alright, got your name, got your style, and let's say you've got a contract with an indie label to put out your first record. What are you going to name it? Do you have any GWAR / Slipknot / KISS / Residents, etc type gimmicks?

The Complexity of Interpersonal Relationships in Regards to a Proton and we would occasionally use Tesla Coils and Foley tricks for atmosphere at shows.

4. To no one's surprise, especially the people who loved you in your area first, the major labels have come sniffing around. Your phone's are ringing off the hook with offers to back the Brinks truck up to the house they're buying you (and your mom. And your dog if they must). But it's 2010, idn't it? More bands are trying to prove that you don't really need a major label. Decision time: do you sign? What stipulations do you put in the contract?

Stay Indie.

5. Regardless of the answers above; you blow up. You're going on a world tour. Time to be full on RAWK STAR and make up a rider. Whatcha gonna demand? Here's the stips: you must include a type of food for you and a type for the crew, entertainment, and transportation (beyond tour bus). Any brown M&Ms type shenanigans are purely up to you.

An Iron Chef (if available) for the cooking. For entertainment I would have a high school quartet playing videogame themes while we played the games and my transport would be a Zeppelin. Occasionally we would play shows dangling from it. You know, for kids.

6. Oh, hey, you should record a live album even though they're ridiculous. Where ya gonna record it? Gonna make a DVD too?

Over Stonehenge, the stage would open up and an elder god would come out, someone like Hastur or something. We would slay him with our Music. It would be totally metal in a Jazz way. Yes. Everyone should see that.

7. And speaking of DVDs, are you going to make any music videos? (Let's just assume, if you didn't sign with a major, you can afford it one way or another) Or long form videos? If so on the latter, what kind of stuff are you going to put on it?

We would just re-release Lord of the Rings but replace Frodo's lines with a piano jam.

8. First record sold huge, first tour went extremely well, do you take a little time off before recording the second album? If so, what do you do? If not, why not?

Yes, we take a break from recording to tour the world in our blimp.

9. Second album comes out and does as good as, if not better, than the first. Tour went amazing. Now it's time to play the supergroup game. You must put together and take part in a one off supergroup including the following positions: Guitar (two, lead & rhythm), bass, drum, vocals. Any other instruments are also allowed for you people who want Bernie Worell in with you.

I wouldn't because all the people I want are dead....

10. You're at, what could be, the height of your fame. What's gonna be your rock star eccentricity? Your John-Lennon-white-suit-and-beard or your Michael-Jackson-one-glove

Ray guns.

11. Time to use your crazy fame to fulfill some dreams you wouldn't otherwise be able to. Pick, let's say three, things that you're going to use your fame to do that normal people wouldn't be able to.

Carve my name on the Moon.
Commission artists and construction firms around the country to build ruins, hopefully to confuse latter generations.
Make Everest shorter by bombs or lasers or something. We need a new tallest mountain.

12. While you're on supergroup hiatus you use some studio time (home studio?) to play around with some different kinds of tunes. What kind of music is this, and do you intend to release it?

I would attempt to find the harmonic resonance of a wine glass on my instruments so at later shows I could break glass just with my music and yes. I would hope it would break some windows at home.

13. Back to your band. One of your guys thinks you're devoting too much time to outside projects. You can cut him loose and replace him, or promise no more side stuff. What's your decision?

Death ray.

14. Regardless of the above, you continue on and continue to be popular. For the next however long; what would be a good schedule for you? How often do you want to release records? Tour?

About 1 a year with the exception of when we release 12 studio albums in a two month period.

15. What kind of guest stars do you hope to attract to work on your albums?

Supervillians, Scientists and the Decemberists would be cool.

16. What would it take to get you to guest on other people's?

The promise of Zeppelin-mounted ray guns.

17. What do you want to become? Do you want to break up after 10 years like the Beatles? March forever and ever like KISS? How about a forced early end a la Nirvana? What fits your vision of a perfect band end?

Looking at my answers I would think I would like to just take over the world. It would probably end like the Beatles though.

18. Assuming you didn't die to end the band, and the band did break up, what would it take for a reunion down the line?

The promise of Zeppelin-mounted flying monkeys.

19. Alternate-ish universe to the above. It's been a few years since the band broke up. Some of the original members want to get back together, but you're not down with it. Instead they start performing together in small clubs with a similar name Dead Kennedys style. What do you do?

Death Ray.

20. Should I have stopped like 8 questions ago?

Perhaps that would have saved my "Not looking to use Science for EVIL" persona...

[monk]

1. First things first; having made the right decisions all your life and picked up your (main? do you have more than one?) instrument at an early age you have become it's master. You're George Harrison, Eric Clapton, Eddie Van Halen, Les Claypool, Dan Lilker, Geddy Lee, Charlie Benante, Keith Moon, Ginger Baker (see what I did there? Three each, guitar, bass, drums) or even Stevie Wonder; whatever, what instrument is it? If you're a multi-instrumentalist like Prince, what else are you associated with?

I'm a vocalist/frontman. I'm very much not the "master" of any [dang]thing. I can kinda play guitar enough to how you how the song should go. It was good enough for Joey Ramone, it's good enough for me.

2. That decided, What kind of music do you play, and what do you call yourselves? I'm combining these because they influence each other. A band called Dashboard confessional can not play thrash metal and Cannibal Corpse would never sell record one as an R&B group. Though I'd looove to see it.

band was called Mom (after a series of names - but that was the one that stuck). Our best and favorite description was "rhythm & blues beach punk with a twist of lemon" but the only review we ever got was "sounds like your girlfriend's snotty little brother's band" (which we liked, too)

3. Alright, got your name, got your style, and let's say you've got a contract with an indie label to put out your first record. What are you going to name it? Do you have any GWAR / Slipknot / KISS / Residents, etc type gimmicks?

name of first record? Clean Your Room

4. To no one's surprise, especially the people who loved you in your area first, the major labels have come sniffing around. Your phone's are ringing off the hook with offers to back the Brinks truck up to the house they're buying you (and your mom. And your dog if they must). But it's 2010, idn't it? More bands are trying to prove that you don't really need a major label. Decision time: do you sign? What stipulations do you put in the contract?

Creative control, publishing, all "indie" releases get on even distribution and majors, we own the masters, a few others I can't remember right now.

5. Regardless of the answers above; you blow up. You're going on a world tour. Time to be full on RAWK STAR and make up a rider. Whatcha gonna demand? Here's the stips: you must include a type of food for you and a type for the crew, entertainment, and transportation (beyond tour bus). Any brown M&Ms type shenanigans are purely up to you.

family area
vegetarian friendly dinner
fan club access

6. Oh, hey, you should record a live album even though they're ridiculous. Where ya gonna record it? Gonna make a DVD too?

record it in a small club, maybe after the third album. Might do a DVD. Depends on if we are inspired.

7. And speaking of DVDs, are you going to make any music videos? (Let's just assume, if you didn't sign with a major, you can afford it one way or another) Or long form videos? If so on the latter, what kind of stuff are you going to put on it?

[Oh] yeah. got some ideas. None of that boring "band plays the song" crap either.

8. First record sold huge, first tour went extremely well, do you take a little time off before recording the second album? If so, what do you do? If not, why not?

No, we have enough songs to record two albums back to back. the idea is to have a few songs in the can to quick release another album whenever needed throughout the career. Outtakes and b-sides are your friend.

9. Second album comes out and does as good as, if not better, than the first. Tour went amazing. Now it's time to play the supergroup game. You must put together and take part in a one off supergroup including the following positions: Guitar (two, lead & rhythm), bass, drum, vocals. Any other instruments are also allowed for you people who want Bernie Worell in with you.

I'll do a Replacements cover band tour with Duff McCagan on bass, Dave grohl on drums and Matthew Sweet on guitar

10. You're at, what could be, the height of your fame. What's gonna be your rock star eccentricity? Your John-Lennon-white-suit-and-beard or your Michael-Jackson-one-glove

start a foundation giving glasses to poor kids

11. Time to use your crazy fame to fulfill some dreams you wouldn't otherwise be able to. Pick, let's say three, things that you're going to use your fame to do that normal people wouldn't be able to.

Lobby politics for social issues (think Zappa)
buy some art (a Picasso, or a Garfunkel)
travel more

12. While you're on supergroup hiatus you use some studio time (home studio?) to play around with some different kinds of tunes. What kind of music is this, and do you intend to release it?

My side band will be a ska band

13. Back to your band. One of your guys thinks you're devoting too much time to outside projects. You can cut him loose and replace him, or promise no more side stuff. What's your decision?

split decision, but devote to the original band, where we are all allowed off/on years.

14. Regardless of the above, you continue on and continue to be popular. For the next however long; what would be a good schedule for you? How often do you want to release records? Tour?

Records every year to year and a half. Tour after every other album

15. What kind of guest stars do you hope to attract to work on your albums?

I want Mick Jagger to play harmonica on my blues number

16. What would it take to get you to guest on other people's?

17. What do you want to become? Do you want to break up after 10 years like the Beatles? March forever and ever like KISS? How about a forced early end a la Nirvana? What fits your vision of a perfect band end?

Go big, then into a plateau into a Ramones level of existence

18. Assuming you didn't die to end the band, and the band did break up, what would it take for a reunion down the line?

The other members to pull their head out of their [ahem] and realize that this was the most fun band to play in

19. Alternate-ish universe to the above. It's been a few years since the band broke up. Some of the original members want to get back together, but you're not down with it. Instead they start performing together in small clubs with a similar name Dead Kennedys style. What do you do?

No, I'd join them.

20. Should I have stopped like 8 questions ago?

Should have stopped at 11...






Edits of cusses by Mark

WHAT? WHERE? I thought I preemptively did so with [ahem].

[bd]

But this goes to 20
_________________
loneliness + alienation + fear + despair + self-worth ÷ mockery ÷ condemnation ÷ misunderstanding x guilt x shame x failure x judgment n=y where y=hope and n=folly, love=lies, life=death, self=dark side

[monk]

11 is bettah...

[Bishma]

1. First things first; having made the right decisions all your life and picked up your (main? do you have more than one?) instrument at an early age you have become it's master. You're George Harrison, Eric Clapton, Eddie Van Halen, Les Claypool, Dan Lilker, Geddy Lee, Charlie Benante, Keith Moon, Ginger Baker (see what I did there? Three each, guitar, bass, drums) or even Stevie Wonder; whatever, what instrument is it? If you're a multi-instrumentalist like Prince, what else are you associated with?
Stand up electric bass. Probably a BSX T series

2. That decided, What kind of music do you play, and what do you call yourselves? I'm combining these because they influence each other. A band called Dashboard confessional can not play thrash metal and Cannibal Corpse would never sell record one as an R&B group. Though I'd looove to see it.
Ska, Ska Core, Or Skaish Punk
We call ourselves "Doctor Venkmen"

3. Alright, got your name, got your style, and let's say you've got a contract with an indie label to put out your first record. What are you going to name it? Do you have any GWAR / Slipknot / KISS / Residents, etc type gimmicks?
I don't think I'd sign with a label. I'd put the effort into touring and releasing songs via the internet as we record them. Jonathan Coulton Style. THat said our first album sized collection would be called "Our First Album Sized Collection"

4. To no one's surprise, especially the people who loved you in your area first, the major labels have come sniffing around. Your phone's are ringing off the hook with offers to back the Brinks truck up to the house they're buying you (and your mom. And your dog if they must). But it's 2010, idn't it? More bands are trying to prove that you don't really need a major label. Decision time: do you sign? What stipulations do you put in the contract?
No labels. Not ever. I want to keep my music.

5. Regardless of the answers above; you blow up. You're going on a world tour. Time to be full on RAWK STAR and make up a rider. Whatcha gonna demand? Here's the stips: you must include a type of food for you and a type for the crew, entertainment, and transportation (beyond tour bus). Any brown M&Ms type shenanigans are purely up to you.
If at any point I can't get a cold pepsi the tour is finished. The crew gets all the Goyza they can eat. I don't care how we travel as long as it's private. I don't want to fly commercial or take greyhound.

6. Oh, hey, you should record a live album even though they're ridiculous. Where ya gonna record it? Gonna make a DVD too?
Why record a live album. All our music is share and share-alike creative commons. Youtube is full of fan made live recordings.

7. And speaking of DVDs, are you going to make any music videos? (Let's just assume, if you didn't sign with a major, you can afford it one way or another) Or long form videos? If so on the latter, what kind of stuff are you going to put on it?
Let they fans do. They're probably more creative anyway (yes, that is Puppet Angel from season 5).

8. First record sold huge, first tour went extremely well, do you take a little time off before recording the second album? If so, what do you do? If not, why not?
We never stop recording. By the time we've finished touring for the first "album" the second is already half done and released as recorded.

9. Second album comes out and does as good as, if not better, than the first. Tour went amazing. Now it's time to play the supergroup game. You must put together and take part in a one off supergroup including the following positions: Guitar (two, lead & rhythm), bass, drum, vocals. Any other instruments are also allowed for you people who want Bernie Worell in with you.
I'd take over bass in the Gimmies.

10. You're at, what could be, the height of your fame. What's gonna be your rock star eccentricity? Your John-Lennon-white-suit-and-beard or your Michael-Jackson-one-glove
I'll get weekly colonoscopies on the Today show like Katie Couric.

11. Time to use your crazy fame to fulfill some dreams you wouldn't otherwise be able to. Pick, let's say three, things that you're going to use your fame to do that normal people wouldn't be able to.
Kill our current copyright system. Make it something where everyone makes money and yet creativity isn't hampered.

12. While you're on supergroup hiatus you use some studio time (home studio?) to play around with some different kinds of tunes. What kind of music is this, and do you intend to release it?
I'd cover all the songs on "State Songs" that John Linell put out as a side project from TMBG. Twice, once as punk covers and once as polka versions.

13. Back to your band. One of your guys thinks you're devoting too much time to outside projects. You can cut him loose and replace him, or promise no more side stuff. What's your decision?
I'd tell him to start his own side project or shut the hell up (or leave). I think long running bands need side projects.

14. Regardless of the above, you continue on and continue to be popular. For the next however long; what would be a good schedule for you? How often do you want to release records? Tour?
Tour 9 months out of the year. Release new songs whenever we can. Albums are release as soon as we have 12 or so songs ready to go.

15. What kind of guest stars do you hope to attract to work on your albums?
Dicky Barrett, Mike "Bruce Lee" Park, and Dave Navarro

16. What would it take to get you to guest on other people's?
Music I like

17. What do you want to become? Do you want to break up after 10 years like the Beatles? March forever and ever like KISS? How about a forced early end a la Nirvana? What fits your vision of a perfect band end?
Keep going till I can't walk onto stage anymore like, I hope, TMBG.

18. Assuming you didn't die to end the band, and the band did break up, what would it take for a reunion down the line?
No hurt feelings.

19. Alternate-ish universe to the above. It's been a few years since the band broke up. Some of the original members want to get back together, but you're not down with it. Instead they start performing together in small clubs with a similar name Dead Kennedys style. What do you do?
See if they'll give me back stage passes to a show.

20. Should I have stopped like 8 questions ago?
Well, seeing as most of these questions are multiple questions, I'd say 18.
_________________
[twitter] | [blog] | [broken web site] | [favorite domain I own]

[Mark]

[monk]

my apologies. The first one was... wow. no idea. Sorry about that. The second was... whoops. That's rock and roll for ya.

[Mark]

It's okay, for real. I know my Draconian ruleset takes getting used to.
_________________
You're never too old for Space Camp.

[horizonpurple]

He's eased off Monk, he used to use his disapproval face until grown men wept.
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BD Approved

[bd]

Hey. The questions! Answer them!
_________________
loneliness + alienation + fear + despair + self-worth ÷ mockery ÷ condemnation ÷ misunderstanding x guilt x shame x failure x judgment n=y where y=hope and n=folly, love=lies, life=death, self=dark side

[Mark]

I did!
_________________
You're never too old for Space Camp.

[monk]

No, I just didn't realize that I had swore. I acknowledge my fault and my shock was that I didn't catch it.

[Bishma]

Just pretend you're in the movie Johnny Dangerously.
_________________
[twitter] | [blog] | [broken web site] | [favorite domain I own]

[KiltyAsCharged]

[Mark]

You best leave Batman out of this.
_________________
You're never too old for Space Camp.